“At first, it was terrible. Up at dawn to go hunting and not so much as a sniff of espresso…

“Dr Tom Van Den Bossche, a GP specialising in nutrition, has looked at the diet and predicted constipation and weight gain … an hour of frog-hunting burns off all the roast piglet and swan…

“There’s pumpkin pie, meat pottage, stewed mutton, boiled pigeon, calf’s lungs, meat custard, numble pie (made with deer’s testicles)…all sorts of delicious stuff. But in 1590, the fork has yet to be invented, and we find that eating with your hands, and feeling your digits grow stickier and smellier by the second, seriously reduces the amount you feel like shovelling in. Hey nonny, nonny.”

I keep hoping they’ll put this on American TV!